Dreamweaver and Personal Myth

“Heaven and Hell are within us, all of the gods are within us. All the gods, all the heavens, all the worlds are within us”

ream is a personal experience of that deep, dark ground that is the support of our consciousness lives, and the myth is the society’s dream. The myth is the public dream and the dream is the private myth. If your private myth, your dream, happens to coincide with that of a society, you are in good accord with your group. If it isn’t you have an adventure in the dark forest ahead of you.”

Joseph Campbell

Each one of us lives and creates our personal myth- a story we tell ourselves about who we are and what we are doing in here. This story is like a collection, a kaleidoscope of our memories- the bits we pull out, pieces we stick together, a creation of our Inner Genius. Deep inside our heads, inside our subconscious minds and deeper still, in the unconscious, we hide our most precious gems. They visit us in our dreams and visions telling us stories about ourselves. We have a choice to share these stories with the rest of the world. This is a process of our own self’-creation.

Each one of us fights a battle within- a battle with our own bodies, trying to force ourselves to be what we want ourselves to be. This conflict is the source of our suffering and also a source of our inspiration.

Whatever we do in our everyday lives, our daily struggles and daily pleasures they all create our memories. Most of these memories are pushed back to the subconscious mind where they lay dormant until the time is right for them resurface. When they resurface tP1500028hey bring us a new story. This is what I call the Dreamweaver. The name itself came to me in a vision and there’s a story behind it as well. Only the time to tell that story has not arrived yet…

The reason I’ve decided to talk about the Dreamweaver now rather than later is mostly because I have realised that it is the crucial element of my magical practice.

In my recent blogs here and there I began to share the elements of my awakening story with you. I’ve realised now that I was actually creating a story rather than sharing it. Personal experience can not be shared or explained but it can be turned into a work of art and that’s precisely what I am doing in here- writing a story about myself and people surrounding me during the last year of my life. Hopefully my story will inspire you.

Zen on a Mountain

planetsIn my recent blogs I began to describe the story of my awakening and a strange love story between myself and Aariel- one of the old Kia agents. Before moving onto the next bit I believe I need to make a small intermission. I have realised how difficult it is to describe your inner experiences to somebody from the “outside”. Each one of us is bound to have their own perception bias.

A few days ago I showed my articles to a “friend”. I call him a friend even though I am not sure what the right name for that person is. He’s a facebook friend, native to India but he uses westernised pseudonym John Joseph on facebook. I have no idea who he is or what he looks like. We’ve been in contact with each other for over a year. He’s a passionate practitioner of Tantra and that’s pretty much all I know about him. He rarely ever talks about himself and most of his contact with me constitutes of him sending me inspiring quotes and poems. I was curious to see what he was going to make out of my articles even though I knew he had no understanding of the western occult and magick. His response was somewhat surprising. I copied and posted a few lines:

“My first impression is that the experiences are sort of conditioned by some theological beliefs and pla6a8436f4477903b507d23191db90ee47y of the subconscious mind” and later “tantric experiences described by you seem to be more like western occultism! In the traditional Tantra, occultism is considered as a road block to further progress even if one develops such powers”.

Later he added that in the traditional Tantramost important are not just the practices but also the life and food style”.

Hahaha- this is such a typical situation for me. My path to the occult lead through Eastern philosophies. I arrived at Taoism when I was 15 and it totally transformed my way of thinking. Next one came shamanism (age 16) and only later Crowley and Thelema (age 19). A few years later I got interested in Buddhism and chaos magick (almost simultaneously), in my mid twenties

During my encounters with many western occultists I have always been surprised to see how their minds seemed conditioned into the western modes of thinking. Eastern thoughts are all about the movement, transformation, interplay of the opposing forces of nature. There are no clear boxes, no clear definitions of things. It’s like a dance. This is how I see my life- dance of joy and pain,  dance of the light and the darkness. All attempts to define myself always end in failure. I am not simply one thing or another. I am all things, the whole universe lives inside me. And yet to the Eastern mind I am a western occultist….at least my physical form is… This is yet another manifestation of karma. In the depth of depths, in the very core of ourselves we are all connected, we’re all parts of great web of universal consciousness. On the level of the mind and the human ego indexwe’re divided into different forms separate from each other. Every person you meet shows you a chunk of the universe, chunk of yourself that you have never seen before.

The world is your mirror. The mirror reflects yourself back at you in many new twisted forms. Whatever you see in the mirror it has been inside you all along. “The only zen you find on the mountain is the zen you bring with you”. The true zen, however lays in the valleys- where there is no climb, no goal and nothing to achieve. The obstacle is the path. Zen talks in the language of the paradox.

Rebirth In the body of Gaia

Rebirth in the body of Gaia is the peak of the shamanic initiations. In the body of Gaia your own physical body becomes one with the power of the elements. Gaia as the Mother Earth is the goddess of the wild currents, storms, volcanic eruptions, earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes and tsunamis. It’s only in the arrogance of our limited western mindset where we see her as tranquil and peaceful creature that could be easily conquered. She gives us her nourishment and her refuge and illusion of the order in the cycle of seasons. However she can take lives away as easily as she gives them. She’s the goddess of death and life, the goddess of light and shadow. She is the only World that we know of, the only one we have ever inhabited. Pewp24bb7d7c_05_06ople of all cultures worshiped her power and paid her respects throughout the centuries.

It was only through the Monotheistic religions that she became the symbol of evil. They were the ones who demanded that our physical bodies should be bound and punished. They proclaimed the superiority of the mind above the body. Gaia has always been  perceived as a female, the Mother, the giver of life. This is probably why in their ignorance religions dis-empowered females…

 Now with arrival of the New Aeon Gaia comes back to us in a new form as Babalon- the Sacred Whore.

Love of the physical body is the key to the true wisdom of life. Without it we will always live in conflict and tension. Learn how to love your own body.

In the west human body is perceived as a machine- clockworks and parts that are set in place to play certain functions. If a part breaks it gets replaced. Everything is done by force.

Ancient Chinese saw the body as the garden that needs balance and nourishment. tumblr_n3mpo8AZRB1ttzaedo1_500In the garden everything is done with care. When the plants get dry you need to give them some water. However when they get too wet they will decay. It’s all about the balance. Sometimes the garden dies down. This is unavoidable, just like an illness. Attitude to illness was also different in China. The peace of mind was considered as a recovery, even if the body was still struggling. Sometimes death was considered a healing.

Our culture teaches to treat our bodies like slaves. It demands that we stayed awake whenever they want us to be awake. We are forced to control our secretions. We are forced to control our moods. We’re not allowed to be tired, angry or depressed. We are supposed to be well functioning robots. This is not what we are. We are like gardens.

Some of us may be more like rocky gardens, others like marshlands. We can’t all be the same- sunny and full of flowers. Let our minds to be gardeners of our bodies. A gardener needs to be wise. We can’t force the flowers to grow on the dry sandy ground. We can’t make the trees grow on top of the rocks. This doesn’t mean that our garden can not be beautiful in its rockiness.When you recognise your own nature you will know how to make your body flourish. And then your mind will flourish too.

Pain is a part of life. It can’t be erased. Pain can be transformed with the power of the thought. Accept it the same way you accept changes in the natural world. It might be that a seed of a plant hurts before it bursts open. It might be that a plant hurts when it rots. If there is something you can do about it- do it. If not accept it. Learn to see yourself a work in progress, a process, part of the universal movement. The dance of life and death. This is what you really are. A small chunk of time and space-perfect in its own way.